Feeling ready to tackle tax season...

So I think I'm ready to do my taxes for my business.  There's a lot of stuff I gotta do, but I think I have everything together to do it.

My to do list:
photograph and count everything I have in my current inventory
make sure I have all of my receipts

Short but sweet...
Hopefully it will go off without a hitch.

Looks who's the latest Substitute Teacher for School Dist. #25

Yes, its true. I am now a substitute teacher. So now we have two people in the same house competing for the same job. It's already stirred a little envy.  Ten minutes after I registered on the phone system on Wednesday I got a call for a job. Ten minutes after that I got another call for a two day job.  Brett was green with envy. I hope this does not become an issue in the future.  I can't wait until he gets a full time teaching job.

Scary thing though, my very first job is High School MATH!  I remember high school math and I hated it with a passion simply because I wasn't the best at it.  Why couldn't my first teaching gig be a kindergarten class! Little kids I can handle. Teenagers-not so much.  I just spent the last year dealing with snotty teenagers at PP. My opinion of them is not the best right now. But I need to remember to look on the bright side so...here's to me having a job for three days before Christmas break and all of them are HS math!!!!

Black holes and other phenomenon

Went to bed at 2 am, wide awake at 7 am, went back to sleep after hubby left for work, slept til 9 am.

Woke up motivated to do things.

Made a cleaning to do list.

Checked email...got sucked into the black hole that is my computer.

Time now 12:52 pm.

Tasks accomplished: zero

Wondering where all the time went?

Time warp?

No. Evil computer...

Feeling kind of blue

So I have been unemployed officially one week on Saturday. I have been actively looking for a job for three weeks and I'm so sick and tired of it already.  My self esteem is pretty low.

The question "Why should I hire you?" runs through my brain and I think "I don't know. I need a job and your listing caught my eye. I'm really not all that excited about job hunting. I'm really just looking because I have bills I need to pay and my online business is not paying for itself."

If there is one thing that I have learned about myself is if I don't have a steady schedule I have a tendency to get depressed. Working for myself is a good idea in theory, but I have not been able to set a schedule that keeps me completely productive throughout the day. There are too many distractions. My house is a mess but I am not the least bit motivated to clean it. I love my husband dearly but he can be just as distracting as anything else. The TV, internet, organizing my business stuff, etc, etc, etc... I'm keeping busy, but nothing is really getting done. My life is chaos, and I feel like I'm spinning out of control.

Losing my job in December :(

So yeah...my store has to downsize to a smaller space. They don't really know with any clarity what they are going to do. It’s all pretty much happening all at once. Their lease was up; the economy and the construction in front of the mall hit them like a freight train and the competition pretty much killed them.

They don’t know where they’re going yet but they are meeting with a realtor on Monday. However, they do know that they are going to have to liquidate entire sections from the store and let go of all of their employees. 

The mall location will close either in the middle or the end of December. The closing date will depend on how long it takes them to pack everything their going to keep and move to their new space. Everything they’re not keeping will go up for auction; fixtures, merchandise, etc….

I, like them, am still reeling from the whole thing. Even though I have spent a considerable amount of time complaining about my job, I still find the idea of losing it staggering.  I have never been very good with change being forced upon me.  The only way that I deal with change well is when it is my idea or if I know it’s coming. 

Last spring when Brett was doing his student teaching and he was anticipating getting a job the following school year, mentally I was completely prepared to do whatever I needed to do for that. I was ready for this huge change to our lives. I was ready to move wherever we needed to go for his job, and I was thinking about things I could do to keep me busy if in the small chance that we moved to a very small isolated town.

But when that didn’t happen, it was like the worst thing that could have occurred.  I’ve been in a whirlwind of disappointed frustration since then, and it wasn’t until I’d say about a week or so ago that the dust was finally beginning to settle.

Now this happens.

In all honesty I kind of knew that something like this was going to happen. The store has been in a steady decline almost the entire time that I’ve worked there and the mall itself has been dying a very slow, lingering and painful death. There are more empty spaces than occupied ones, and to lose retailers like Dillard’s and now Party Palace, it is tantamount to destruction. The combination of rent, utilities, and the economy in Pocatello has driven many businesses in the mall out of business.

But now is the time to look forward instead of back. I don’t know where life will lead me next. But I hope that whatever I do next will be to the betterment of myself and others. So here’s to looking at a glass half full.

A little scared...

Yesterday when I walked into work there were posters everywhere stating 50% off everything in the store. I'm thinking HOLY CRAP!!!! WHAT IS GOING ON????  I have one day off and come back to this.  The warning signs have been there a long time, but it's something else entirely when it starts actually happening.

I won't hear anything officially until tomorrow mornings meeting.  I hope this only means that we're moving and not going out of business. But you never know.  At times I really do hate my job and have considered quitting, but in reality, its a job and its not as bad as I make it out to be.  Not to mention, I have a really hard time adjusting to change.  I never really realized how I react to change until now.

Here's to hoping its not the worst.

Taking offense at every little thing...

So the other day I put in a bid to make a costume for work instead of just making the dumb thing and expect to get paid afterward. Well, last night I was pretty much told that they didn't need me to do it because they can do it themselves. They know how to sew and so they can do it. Fine...whatever. If they think they can do a better job, go right ahead and do it. They'll take a commercial pattern put it together and find that it won't work. This costume has to fit over drywall stilts and artificial hands, which means the arms and legs need to be wider. I hope they know how to modify a pattern. Whatever, I'm done doing anything above and beyond for them.  I will go there, man the register and do the bare minimum I have to. I really want to quit and be done with them, but my friends and family keep encouraging me to stick to it until Brett has a job. I honestly don't know if I can last that long.

The business I work for must really be hurting. Not only are they pulling all this crap with me, but my hours keep dropping significantly. Last year for Halloween I had eight hour shifts almost every day from mid-September until the second week in November. Now I barely work three days a week for 3-4 hours and one 6-8 hour shift on the weekend. If they can't afford to pay me, why do I still work there?

They are so worried about money that it will drag their business down to ruin.  I am an avid believer in The Secret and I know that the more positive energy you project out, the more the universe (God) projects back to you. If you project negative energy, more negative energy is attracted to you. Positive energy is like faith and negative energy is worse than not having any faith at all. Negative energy is very pernicious. There seems to be so much more of it and soon it overwhelms you like a flood and buries you under a mile of gunk. 

I know this first hand. Ever since things started to go bad at work, I've had a really hard time finding anything positive. Every day seems to compound more negativity on me. I feel like I'm drowning.

Going to Phoenix

So I went to Phoenix this weekend for Anthony's graduation.  It was nice, if a bit long in the car. Driving down and back is okay. We took the Las Vegas route down and the Flagstaff route back. I can't honestly tell you which route is faster, although google maps says that Flagstaff is faster. The Las Vegas way is more freeway so it seems faster, but you have to contend with LV traffic and Hoover Dam traffic. The Flagstaff route has more tourist traffic, but its prettier.

More to come...

Post project burn out

So about a week ago I ordered some Bengal Tiger fabric for work, and it arrived yesterday morning. I immediately got to work on building the new jumpsuit after a quick run to JoAnn's to buy white fur for the belly. I had ordered some white fur online, but I couldn't wait. The Homecoming parade for ISU is next Saturday and the arrival time for the white fur was around the same time. Not gonna work.

So I cracked out the Bengal Tiger suit in 6 hours. The only things that needs to be done to it are: attach elastic to the shoe covers and hem the sleeves and legs. So at this point it's wearable. Is it any wonder that I am exhausted today?

You learn something new everyday. I never really thought about how I get after finishing a project. I think back to when I worked in the costume shop at ISU and there was always a day or more after a show going up where we had time to recuperate, and if we didn't have that time we were running on fumes. Weird how I never thought about it before now. Even in summer stock, there was always a day or half day to recuperate.

Needing to set deadlines

So I am learning very slowly that if you don't give yourself a deadline-nothing ever gets done. You adopt the attitude of "oh, I'll finish it later." After my rant about my job,  I decided to make things for myself and merely use the store as a place to sell my stuff. I can't wait around for them to give me projects to do. That is what lead up to my outburst. The worst of it being their unwillingness to pay me. (By the way, I still haven't been paid for the work I did on the Marie Antoinette gown.) I'm not being greedy, they can pay me over time. It would be great if they paid me with one big lump sum. It would go directly on to my credit card. I am accumulating a lot of debt through this escapade. My jewelry supplies and all the fabric I've bought is adding up fast and I'm not making it back hardly at all. I've sold two pieces of jewelry. That's it. I can only hope that the fairy costumes I am making will sell.  My first one is a little plain. It needs something. But I also want it to be wearable outside of Halloween, and I'm afraid if I add some glitter and bling, all it will be is a costume.

What I really need to do is map out a timeline to get everything done. If I want these costumes to sell for Halloween, I need them to be done before October. If I dilly dally for much longer I will run out of time to do anything.

Time to get organized. Calendar here I come...

So I kind of blew my top yesterday...

So I kind of blew my top yesterday.  It was a long time coming. But all of my pent up frustration with my job finally blew yesterday. And of course I blew it way out of proportion. Everything is fine. We talked some things out at work and hopefully all in all it should get better. I still have that little wish in the back of my mind...something happen so that I don't have to be here anymore. But for the moment everything is ok. I've decided to make projects for myself and sell them through Etsy. It gives me an outlet for my creativity, and I can do what I love on my own time and hope that I'll recoup my investment. I'm still waiting for my jewelry to sell, but I have learned that working your own business works as much as you do and I right now I can't afford to turn all of my attention to it. Someday. But not today. My hubby has to get a full time job first and then I can play.

Saw it coming...

So for the last two months I have been modifying a Marie Antoinette gown. The original dress was a nice expensive sexy costume. Its got lace and a rhinestone applique on the front. My plan was to add a full pannier skirt and flesh it out for a complete costume.  A little voice in the back of my mind would say that it's going to be expensive and my stratagem was: get the most expensive one out of the way first and work on lesser projects later. This of course was at the beginning of the project back in July when I thought I would have the dress done in a week and move on to the next project. Well that didn't happen. The entire project from start to finish took 41 hrs and 15 mins. I was very meticulous about logging my time compared to how I tracked my time on a previous project. Now I kind of wish I had fudged with my time a little. I guess they don't have to pay me for my mistakes, and during the times I had to stop and start over. But that was a minor fix that didn't take me very long. I have never attempted a gown like this before. It was a learning experience.

Well now that the gown is done, the people that I worked so hard for are now crying that its too expensive, and that they would never pay that much for a costume. Which is of course ridiculous. They spent $2000 on a Storm Trooper costume that falls apart every time you put it on. What, are they worried that they're not going to get their money's worth on renting this gown. It rents for $75 a day. It only needs to be rented 8 times and they've made their money back.

Ok, maybe that's a little much for this area. But then again. The Storm Trooper only got rented three times last Halloween, so they're not anywhere near paying for it by how many times it has been rented. It needs to go out another 17 times before its paid for.

Mostly, I'm just disappointed with the fact that I know that their not going to ask me to make anymore costumes for them. They haven't said anything but I know its going to happen.  I know how they think. There is nothing I can do to convince them to invest in quality made costumes that will last for the next 10 years. No, they want to buy the cheap costumes that fall apart after being worn 2 or 3 times.

Whatever. I am so done with these people. I can give ideas to improve their business and help them make more money. But it seems like almost everything I say goes in one ear and out the other.  What the crap do they know about anything. They're never there. I find it ironic that the people that do most of the ordering for the store are the ones that spend the least amount of time there. 

 You know when I got this job I thought it was a god send. It was perfect. I could use the skills I gained while earning my Bachelor's degree in theater. But now I feel like the overqualified lemming. Pushing buttons and working a cash register for the ungrateful thieving masses. Working this job has really opened my eyes to how degenerate people can be. They take whatever they want and don't give a damn how it affects everyone else.

The original dress

The finished product

Well, here are pictures of the last costume I will ever make for them.  If they can't afford to pay me for the work that I do, then I will find somebody else who will.

Therapy through blogging

It has been so nice since my last post. Having vented all my frustration on the blog, I have not been as frustrated with my space. I was even motivated to clean up a bit. Now it's slightly more organized chaos. It also helped that my husband took some of our stuff and put it in storage (aka parent's house).

I bought a new storage container for my jewelry making. It has four drawers and consolidating has helped immensely. Hopefully, this will help the creative juices to flow a bit more so I can put more out there and maybe sell some items. I really want everything to sell over Halloween. Here's hoping!!!

Frustrated with my space

My desk. 

 

I happen to share a very small apartment with my husband.  I would be much roomier if we didn't have so much crap.  We were bursting at the seams when we first moved in and now a year later, we're practically exploding out the door. It is in this space that I have tried to make a studio for my sewing projects. Needless to say I've made a mess in my living room and it has stayed a mess. It looks like a tornado crashed through it.

If I had the proper space and storage it wouldn't be half as messy as it is now. I need an alternate means of storage for my fabric; a work surface that has storage for small tools; a storage space for my tools and space to set aside works in progress without putting them completely away.

Project storage.

Instead, my tools are pretty much scattered throughout my apartment, localized mostly in my living room. My cutting/work table is a piece of plywood with a fitted sheet pinned around it draped over my couch. Needless to say this can be a bit inconvenient because there is no place to sit and watch TV, so my husband is banished to the bedroom to play games or watch videos on his laptop. I had devised a cutting table using my existing piece of plywood. I put detachable legs and supports on it but the stupid thing was too rickety and it could only fit over my bed. So my choices are either to cover my bed or cover my couch. Neither of these work at the end of the day. Well, that not completely true. If I drape it over the couch I don't have to tear it down when I want to go to sleep.

Cutting table.

So my frustration with my space flows into my frustration with my equipment.  Bless my mom's heart she gave me a sewing machine for Christmas several years ago, sadly though its not very sturdy. My little Kenmore has traveled with me wherever I have gone. It moved with me when I moved to Utah and then back again. It is a bit worse for wear because of it. It's been dropped a couple of times, and the bobbin winder doesn't work anymore. Its a good little machine, but I need something that can stitch through leather and/or upholstery.

Left: Sewing Machine. Right: Borrowed Serger

For the longest time I didn't own a serger. I've wanted one almost as long as I've wanted a sewing machine. Last year for graduation, one of my professors gave me her old serger. It was awesome. It was a five thread, so it was capable of stitching the seam and serging the edge. Sadly, it died right before Halloween last year. I ran over a pin and couldn't remove the replaceable moving blade. So I took it in. A few weeks later I get it back and instead of cutting fabric like it should, it eats it and makes a royal mess. I'm thinking what the crap. The samples that were attached to the machine to show that it was working fine were perfect, why is my machine doing this? So I take it back to the repair shop. A week later they finally call me and tell me what the problem is. My serger is pretty much toast.  I can try to fix it my replacing the stationary blade, but it still might not work, so my other choice is to buy a new one.  I opted for the part, and it proved to be a phenomenal waste of time. Word to the wise, if you have an old model Elna serger that is more that 5 years old, good luck getting a part for it. I didn't get my serger back for six months. Elna merge with another company and they no longer make parts for any of the machines manufactured before the merger.  The biggest rub of all was after all that time and waiting the serger was still broken. New parts, some labor and nada. So now if I want to use my serger I have to very careful about the edge of the fabric and not catching it in the overlooper, or I can disengage the overlooper and I will have an over-glorified sewing machine. Sadness. Thankfully, my work has a serger that I can use. I hate working without one. It so messy, and I feel less professional without it.

So there is my saga on frustrated with my space. *Deep Breath in...I feel better now.