Losing my job in December :(

So yeah...my store has to downsize to a smaller space. They don't really know with any clarity what they are going to do. It’s all pretty much happening all at once. Their lease was up; the economy and the construction in front of the mall hit them like a freight train and the competition pretty much killed them.

They don’t know where they’re going yet but they are meeting with a realtor on Monday. However, they do know that they are going to have to liquidate entire sections from the store and let go of all of their employees. 

The mall location will close either in the middle or the end of December. The closing date will depend on how long it takes them to pack everything their going to keep and move to their new space. Everything they’re not keeping will go up for auction; fixtures, merchandise, etc….

I, like them, am still reeling from the whole thing. Even though I have spent a considerable amount of time complaining about my job, I still find the idea of losing it staggering.  I have never been very good with change being forced upon me.  The only way that I deal with change well is when it is my idea or if I know it’s coming. 

Last spring when Brett was doing his student teaching and he was anticipating getting a job the following school year, mentally I was completely prepared to do whatever I needed to do for that. I was ready for this huge change to our lives. I was ready to move wherever we needed to go for his job, and I was thinking about things I could do to keep me busy if in the small chance that we moved to a very small isolated town.

But when that didn’t happen, it was like the worst thing that could have occurred.  I’ve been in a whirlwind of disappointed frustration since then, and it wasn’t until I’d say about a week or so ago that the dust was finally beginning to settle.

Now this happens.

In all honesty I kind of knew that something like this was going to happen. The store has been in a steady decline almost the entire time that I’ve worked there and the mall itself has been dying a very slow, lingering and painful death. There are more empty spaces than occupied ones, and to lose retailers like Dillard’s and now Party Palace, it is tantamount to destruction. The combination of rent, utilities, and the economy in Pocatello has driven many businesses in the mall out of business.

But now is the time to look forward instead of back. I don’t know where life will lead me next. But I hope that whatever I do next will be to the betterment of myself and others. So here’s to looking at a glass half full.

A little scared...

Yesterday when I walked into work there were posters everywhere stating 50% off everything in the store. I'm thinking HOLY CRAP!!!! WHAT IS GOING ON????  I have one day off and come back to this.  The warning signs have been there a long time, but it's something else entirely when it starts actually happening.

I won't hear anything officially until tomorrow mornings meeting.  I hope this only means that we're moving and not going out of business. But you never know.  At times I really do hate my job and have considered quitting, but in reality, its a job and its not as bad as I make it out to be.  Not to mention, I have a really hard time adjusting to change.  I never really realized how I react to change until now.

Here's to hoping its not the worst.

Taking offense at every little thing...

So the other day I put in a bid to make a costume for work instead of just making the dumb thing and expect to get paid afterward. Well, last night I was pretty much told that they didn't need me to do it because they can do it themselves. They know how to sew and so they can do it. Fine...whatever. If they think they can do a better job, go right ahead and do it. They'll take a commercial pattern put it together and find that it won't work. This costume has to fit over drywall stilts and artificial hands, which means the arms and legs need to be wider. I hope they know how to modify a pattern. Whatever, I'm done doing anything above and beyond for them.  I will go there, man the register and do the bare minimum I have to. I really want to quit and be done with them, but my friends and family keep encouraging me to stick to it until Brett has a job. I honestly don't know if I can last that long.

The business I work for must really be hurting. Not only are they pulling all this crap with me, but my hours keep dropping significantly. Last year for Halloween I had eight hour shifts almost every day from mid-September until the second week in November. Now I barely work three days a week for 3-4 hours and one 6-8 hour shift on the weekend. If they can't afford to pay me, why do I still work there?

They are so worried about money that it will drag their business down to ruin.  I am an avid believer in The Secret and I know that the more positive energy you project out, the more the universe (God) projects back to you. If you project negative energy, more negative energy is attracted to you. Positive energy is like faith and negative energy is worse than not having any faith at all. Negative energy is very pernicious. There seems to be so much more of it and soon it overwhelms you like a flood and buries you under a mile of gunk. 

I know this first hand. Ever since things started to go bad at work, I've had a really hard time finding anything positive. Every day seems to compound more negativity on me. I feel like I'm drowning.